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In addition to my annoyance that 2 of the “3 R’s” (reading, writing, arithmetic) do not actually begin with the letter “R”, I think there’s one important “R” missing from our schools – Relationship: teaching our children how to make confident, healthy relationship and life choices.

All the emphasis placed on making sure our children know how to read, write, and do math is most definitely valid. A community, country, or world filled with people who are functionally illiterate is a scary thing. And at the same time, when these skills are in the spotlight of every debate on school reform to the predominant exclusion of teaching them how to treat each other with respect, it’s kind of like focusing just on exercises to build your biceps, and ignoring equal time to build your triceps – it creates an imbalance.

And the imbalance we’re experiencing right now is what I call a cycle of “Relationship Illiteracy.” We cannot teach our children what we haven’t learned yet. So even though they probably WANT more peace and harmony in their relationships, they just don’t know how or what to do instead. Then the only choice is to fall back on what they’ve learned from us adults. This is just as scary as functional illiteracy.

To my delight, I’m starting to see many more articles about bringing these “soft skills” into our schools; about bringing “soul” into our schools. (”Welcoming Soul to Our Schools”, Shift in Action magazine, June/August 2008) I’m jazzed to know that people out there who care about the development of our children as whole, complete people are doing the studies, gathering the statistics, and developing programs. We like the statistics. They make us feel smart. And when we feel smart, we feel safe.

Try for a moment, though, to suspend the need for statistics, data and studies and to prove what we already know in our hearts to be true:

When our students feel more confident in their relationship and life choices, they’ll feel safer, be more engaged in school, and be more proficient at learning and applying the other three “R”s. Attendance, standardized test scores and graduation rates will go up, dropout rates will go down, and the other “social ills” associated with poor performance at school will be positively impacted.

Sure sounds like a fabulous idea to me! And as I talk to more and more people about it, I’ve been greeted with unanimous and enthusiastic agreement. We just know that teaching our children how to make conscious life choices and engage in more compassionate communication is important. It feels to me like we breathe a collective sigh of relief and release just to think about the possibilities.

I also think this is one of the things I’m here to do with my Work/Calling/Mission: to Break this Cycle of Relationship Illiteracy.

I also know that this shift will happen gradually along the path of our cultural, spiritual, and emotional evolution. And, at the risk of indulging in a few worn metaphors, Rome wasn’t built in a day, every mighty oak tree begins as a small acorn, and a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

So, to Choose Love Today, I’ll keep talking about it and writing about it, reading the articles, planting the seeds, and taking the steps. And I’ll continue to be open to ways I can further define and articulate my unique contribution to our children’s growth, peace of mind, joy and happiness.

How about you?????