todayichooselove.com

I had the pleasure of spending this weekend in visiting my daughter, Amie. She’s a senior (when did THAT happen??) at Westminster College, a small college of about 2800 students nestled in the beautiful Sugar House neighborhood in southwest Salt Lake City, Utah.

She’s a soprano in the Westminster Chamber Singers, and I flew out to attend both the Friday and Saturday evening performances of their holiday concert. The concerts were wonderful, the weather was really fabulous for this time of year, and it’s always great to get away.

The best part of it, though, was the time I spent one-on-one with Amie. At 21 years old, the time I actually have with her keeps dwindling as she continues to carve out her own life. Heck, the time we spend in the same zip code is already pretty scarce.

Out of the whole weekend, we had about four hours together, just she and I. Saturday morning we spent two hours talking about school, life, and (of course!) boys at a Starbuck’s, and we hung out for another couple of hours Saturday afternoon at another coffee house, where we both worked on our laptops and didn’t talk.

The rest of the time I was with her, I was glad to step back and share her with her roommates and friends, her dad and stepmom, who also flew out from Denver for the weekend, and the other hundred or so people who attended the concerts each night.

Even when I was on my own in my hotel room or taking a walk, I found comfort in knowing that we were at least in the same city and state – not only just a phone call away (Thank God for Verizon family share plan!), but also just a four minute drive from the hotel to campus.

Somewhere along the way, it’s happened. I’ve turned into “Desperate Mom” – I’ll take whatever connection I can find!

And to me, this is Choosing Love Today. I can miss her. I can be happy for the life she’s creating for herself as an adult. I can be grateful for the time we have together. I can step back and observe her in her life. I can focus on my own life quite well when we don’t talk for a while. I can feel selfish sometimes and want more time with her. I can honor the path she’s chosen in her life.

And I can experience all of these feelings concurrently. They can gracefully co-exist, swirling and intermingling all together, all at once.

As I wrote in the acknowledgments in my book:

Of all the job titles and descriptions I’ve had throughout this lifetime, my favorite one always has been and always will be “Amie’s Mom.”

Am I a “Desperate Mom?” You bet!

And I can live with that.