I Do Remember Columbine
Posted by: Laurie Cameron in Compassionate Observer, Ripped From the Headlines, WAKE UP!I remember exactly where I was when I first heard about the shooting rampage at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, on April 20, 1999. I was at the South Metro Denver Chamber of Commerce office about 5 miles away from the school. The vision of that moment in that office is permanently etched in my mind.
I remember later that day, at home watching it unfold on TV, tears streaming, fists clenched, willing time to go faster so I could meet my 12-year-old daughter at the bus stop. I remember the frantic need to hold onto her and never let her go - anywhere, ever.
I remember feeling the weight of the collective shock and grief of my hometown, and how I could feel it spread across Colorado, the nation, and around the planet.
There are a lot of memories I can recall, but just recollection is not the purpose of this post. The biggest memory is how desperate I was to find some sense of compassion for the two boys who forever changed our sense of safety and security in our schools.
I know this is extremely controversial and carries a gigantic emotional charge for many. I respect however you choose to feel about this event. Whatever this post brings up for you is valid because it is part of who you are. What I won’t do is debate or defend my desire to explore and understand compassion.
To me, choosing love and choosing compassion is choosing to see the spark of the Divine in EVERYONE. Choosing compassion neither condones nor condemns. Compassion is by no means justification for reprehensible or abhorrent behavior. Compassion is not a moral judgment. It’s not wound tightly together with good/bad and right/wrong labels.
To me, Compassion is the unconditional acknowledgment that we are all doing the best we can with the skills, tools and awareness we have in the moment. This definition allows for unlimited growth - our “best” can be better tomorrow because of what we learn from our choices today.
And Compassion can often be a very difficult state to achieve, especially within the context of an unfathomably traumatic event such as this.
So today, on the eve of the 10-year anniversary of the Columbine shootings, I Choose Love. I Choose Compassion. To all of us affected by the events of that day 10 years ago, including the global ripple effect it has had in countless ways, my wish is for Peace in our hearts and in our minds. My wish for us is to have a greater awareness of our fears, and a clear path in front of us toward greater Compassion.
Tags: Columbine High School, compassion
April 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Perfect Laurie. This is the first blog post I’ve read word-for-word in quite a while … maybe because it relates in some way to my research paper for my first Master’s class, Graduate Research and Writing at DU.
I’ve chosen the benefits of writing to process grief as my thesis subject. We seem to revisit grieving this event year after year. It’s like the echos of our voices that bounce off canyon walls. All of it necessary to heal.
It reminds me of a book I helped produce of thoughts and prayers gather ’round the world made specifically for the victims of the event. I quoted scripture (not something I do often actually), “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I’m guessing at least one father probably either threw the book away or at least tore that page out. Nevertheless, Harris and Klebold obviously knew the actions they planned to take that day, but I’m certain they did not have any idea how it would affect people around the world.
Thanks for your perspective.
Lissa
April 19th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Lissa. The book sounds like it was a part of the healing for many - a great gift. And I wish you wonderful success with your Masters program!
April 19th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Laurie - brilliantly written, and obviously from the heart. I love how you process your “process” and share that with your readers.
Having been uniquely affected and intertwined with the fallout of Columbine these last 10 years, I can wholeheartedly say that I appreciate the depth of thought that you bring to the topic.
You embodied the concept of “Never Forget”… Thank you!
April 19th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Thank you Eric, I so appreciate your comments. I think sharing our process with others is an important path to healing.