todayichooselove.com

I don’t know if it’s my Myers-Briggs or 360 or DiSC profile, astrological sign, genetic makeup or cultural conditioning, but I have a hard time with the nose-to-the-grindstone, focus-on-the-goal structure common in contemporary business management advice.

All the business books - as well as the information I teach to my students at Coach Training Alliance - talk about the importance of a well thought-out strategic plan to ensure business success. There are 1-year plans, 5-year plans, weekly strategies, and daily goals that are all supposed to be laid out and followed, or else profit and sustainability will remain elusive.

“Plan the work and work the plan.”

And when these goals, action plans and strategies are followed systematically - voilà! A profitable business!

I get all that. I understand the value and importance of the plans and the strategies. I really do. And I still struggle with it. My challenge is that I seem to get caught up way too frequently in the "head stuff" of my plans - how I can make it work, make it happen, make it do something! I assume that if I think about it all hard enough, I’ll get some brilliant answer - the TRUTH of how I’m supposed to do what I’m here to do.

That’s when the anxiety would creep in and I’d begin pacing around my office and my home. Then I’d try to solve the “problem” of being distracted! For years it’s felt like a vicious cycle, and I’d end up in what I call “overwhelm-induced inertia.”

Since inertia isn’t a very good business-building strategy either, I recently decided to try a new approach. Whenever I found myself pacing and trying to fight the anxiety, I would ask my Spirit/Higher Self what I needed most in that moment.

The most consistent answer? “GO LIE DOWN!”

At first, this sounded a bit odd. It seemed less like divinely inspired guidance and more like another avoidance strategy. But what I found out was that when I followed that guidance, it got me out of my head - the arrogance of my ego thinking it could actually figure it all out - and allowed the wisdom in my Heart to be heard.

It was as if my head got so clogged up with all the possibilities and ideas - albeit extremely creative ideas - it was all about me trying to MAKE something happen. And forcing success is really exhausting!

When I went to lie down - on my bed, on the floor, on the couch - I was pleasantly surprised: I relaxed. I emptied my mind and I opened my heart. It was then that the real HOW of my work started becoming clearer. My most important actions and tasks would come to the surface, and the next step would make a lot of sense.

So I’ve moved past the perception that it’s weird, and now I follow the guidance I receive. Sometimes I lie down for 5 minutes, or 30 minutes, or sometimes an hour. Sometimes it’s just once during a day, sometimes it’s 5 or 6 times that I stop what I’m doing and go lie down. (I even got stuck while writing this article and had to go lie down for a few minutes!)

And what I’m discovering is that after lying down (or sometimes sitting in a chair) and opening my heart to the next step, I’m actually a lot more focused and productive than I was when I used to spend that same amount of time anxiously trying to make my brain think harder.

What does this have to do with choosing love today - the purpose of this blog? Well, I know that my pacing and anxiety comes from fear. My head thinks that if I don’t figure it out, I’ll fail, go bankrupt, yada, yada, yada. Conversely, when I choose to listen to my Higher Wisdom, I’m definitely choosing Love. I feel that I’m co-creating my business strategies with the Universe - a nice business partner to have.

When I trust that I’m headed in the right direction to fulfill my purpose and my calling, and that I don’t have to know all the specifics right now about HOW I’m going to get there, I know I’m definitely choosing Love.

And it’s not that weird after all. My friend and colleague, Drayton Boylston, owner of the Rescue Institute and the author of Coming UnScrooged! A Contemporary Classic of Corporate Rescue & Redemption, shared with me a while back that he coaches his executive clients to spend some time every day being quiet and reflecting. And an increasing number of companies are starting to provide space for people to nap or meditate in the middle of the work day as a way to increase productivity.

So there it is - my new business strategy. I encourage you to try it - Choose Love & GO LIE DOWN!

From a small article in this morning’s Rocky Mountain News:

Wendy Portillo, a kindergarten teacher in Port St. Lucie, Florida, has been removed from her classroom because she allowed the class to “vote out” Alex, a 5-year-old boy, because of his behavioral problems. His mother said he is currently being tested for Asperger’s Disease, a type of high-functioning autism.

Each classmate was allowed to say what they didn’t like about him, then they took a 14-2 vote to oust him from the class.

I have to say that this kind of story really tests my ability to be a Compassionate Observer. I had a wide range of initial reactions. I wanted to rail at Wendy Portillo. I wanted to shake her and ask her, “What on earth were you thinking???” I wanted to scream at her insensitivity. I wanted to vote her off the planet!

Once I took a deep breath, though, my secondary reactions were different.

I sent Wendy Portillo much softer energy, hoping that this will be an opportunity for her to wake up a little bit - or a lot - more. I hope this opens her up to more compassion. I hope she gains some clarity about whatever fears she’s carrying that clouded her judgment and somehow made this kind of behavior acceptable in her mind.

I sent loving thoughts to the boy’s mother. I hope she does not use this to help Alex to become a victim. I hope she assists him in using this opportunity to find his unique own path through his life.

I sent Alex’s classmates lots of compassionate energy, with the hope that they will somehow see that this is definitely NOT how you treat ANYONE. I hope their parents will help them develop empathy - to try to understand what it would have felt like if they were Alex in that situation.

And I sent Alex lots of loving energy. My hope for him is that this experience helps him discover and develop his inner strength. I hope it helps him to be the kind of person he would have liked his teacher and classmates to have been. I hope his heart stays open, and his thoughts remain gentle for himself and for others. I hope his light continues to shine more brightly every day.

My first major exposure to the concept of compassion was when I began exploring Buddhism. I took an introductory class at a Buddhism center here in Denver about 7 years ago. And my best friend Scott gave me a book called “Bones of the Master”. Increasingly intrigued, I started reading more books written about Buddhism and the Dalai Lama, and books written by the Dalai Lama - he’s a prolific writer!

And he’s become my idol - or at least my most inspiring role model for the true power of how compassion can change lives.

I loved a documentary that I saw recently on his life. It’s titled 10 Questions for the Dalai Lama, here’s the link: http://www.thedalailamamovie.com/

It was a fascinating and comprehensive look at this “humble monk’s” life.

What continues to blow me away about his life is that he was forced out of his own country when I was 1 year old. He has been living in exile for almost MY ENTIRE LIFE!

And yet he still has compassion for the Chinese government. THAT’S the most powerful role model I know of to follow and emulate in my daily life.

So I’m intrigued about the latest development in the Chinese occupation of Tibet. After over half a century of fear-driven brutality, Chinese government officials have agreed to be in a conversation with envoys of the Dalai Lama.

This reinforces my sense that we - the Global WE - are in a time of accelerated change; of “Waking Up” at an increasingly exponential rate.

Will this situation change overnight? Heavens, no! Any expectations that the Chinese government will now fling the door open wide and allow Tibetans autonomy will only result in frustration and anger. (Remember that the Second Noble Truth of Buddhism states that resistance and attachment is the cause of all suffering.)

But does this small opening to new possibilities give me hope that we’re moving in the right direction? You betcha!

Although I don’t consider myself a practicing Buddhist, I do appreciate the philosophies and teachings of loving kindness and compassion. And I DO believe that compassion is THE PRIMARY INGREDIENT of a full, vibrant life.

So the Dalai Lama is truly my “Tibetan Idol.” If he can choose to feel compassion for the Chinese government day after day, year after year, decade after decade, I can choose love and compassion in my own small way. And I can be out in the world talking about it and writing about it - like in my blog.

If he can enter into conversation with the Chinese government with the intent of a peaceful outcome, then I can enter into conversations with people in my life who challenge my resistance and attachments, too.

So I will continue to do all that I can to choose love and compassion every day in my own life, and to help businesses and individuals create a sustainable culture of compassion in the office, at home, and in the world.

(And here’s my promotional plug - if you want more loving kindness and compassion in your relationships and in your life too, call me!)

“Wake Up Your Relationships ~ Transform Your Life ~ Heal the World”

This is the tagline that I’ve chosen for this site and for my work.

When I was at a networking event recently, I had a postcard with this on it. More than a couple people read it and replied, “Wow, that’s deep.” And a few days after that, someone else responded, “Heal the World? Yah, right. That’ll never happen.”

I started wondering if this intention of mine is being perceived as just one more example of 60s-style hippie-talk, or maybe as slick marketing hype.

Then I realized it really doesn’t matter to me what other people think about it! I already figured out that I can’t please everyone - or the other side of that: not everybody is going to like me, or agree with what I’m here to say and do.

And even though a tagline is a specific element of a marketing plan, this one also happens to be what I truly believe and am committed to working towards.

Healing the world actually does feel to me like a perfectly natural outcome of people “waking up” their relationships. (I define “Waking Up” as choosing more loving compassionate thoughts, words and actions today than you did yesterday).

I also believe we’re at a crossroads right now. I believe we’re being called to RADICALLY change the way we relate to each other. I know we can’t continue reinforcing a culture - local or global - where our relationships are based on fear, violence, blame, victim, drama, competition, intolerance, or general nastiness. This has got to change, or we’re not going to make it - perhaps at all.

And I honestly believe that it IS changing.

I know it. I feel it. And many people I know all over the world are reporting that they have the same feeling, the same knowing.

I do think we’re waking up - as individuals and as a collective, global consciousness. I think it’s been happening for a long time - generations perhaps. Maybe it’s been happening as long as we humans have inhabited this planet.

Peace. Love. Goodwill. Compassion. It’s not marketing hype. It’s not a rose-colored-glasses view of the world. It’s not hippie-hype. At least not for me.

So, is “Healing the World” really possible? I don’t know. What I DO know is that my contribution to helping us move in that direction is to put one foot in front of the other, and do the best I can to choose more loving thoughts, words and actions today than I did yesterday.

I’m willing to give it a go and see what happens - are you?