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Ripped from the headlines in today’s Rocky Mountain News:

“Find a party … to ring out the bad news of 2008″

That headline struck me as odd. It seems to imply that if we can survive until midnight on December 31^st, then we can say, “Whew, I’m glad that year’s over!”

Why is it that we think we can only start fresh on the first day of January every year? It seems that we’re missing out on a gazillion more opportunities to begin anew.

We actually get to start over every month, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. This is what it means to me to BE in the present moment. To know, and to really understand, that every thought I think, every word I speak and every action and response I choose is a chance to start fresh.

I think there’s a danger in placing such high expectations on the “new year” to fix everything that happened over the last 365 days. The higher the expectations, the farther the potential fall into disillusionment, anger, and frustration.

What if we “rang in” every day with anticipation and celebration? What if we intentionally and deliberately sought out the lessons from yesterday and applied that new wisdom to our choices today? What if we chose to bless the past rather than try to run away from it?

What if we created the intention to “ring in” every moment as a chance to begin anew?

I think I’ll give it a try, starting…….. NOW!

Tis the season! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, a combination of the above, all of the above, or none of the above, it’s hard to not notice that there’s a lot of hustlin’ and bustlin’ going on. (Well, maybe not THAT kind of hustlin’!)

Gift-buying, gift-wrapping, cookie-baking, latke-frying, tree-trimming, candle-lighting, turkey-stuffing, eggnog-swilling…. It’s a good time of year!

At this time of traditional gift-giving, I want to add one more gift to your list. It’s one you can give to everyone on your list, and one size really does fit all! (In clothing, that’s a bit of a crock, but for this gift, it actually applies!)

It’s a gift you can give your children, your partner or spouse, your parents, your pets, your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, your boss, your employees… EVERYONE in your life.

It’s the gift of Compassion.

Here’s what’s included in the gift of Compassion:

• Treat everyone’s feelings as valid;
• Honor that we’re all doing the best we can with the tools, skills and knowledge we have in this moment;
• Have some faith that our “best” can be better tomorrow;
• Understand that their weirdness or dysfunction comes from the same fears that you have, too - fear of not feeling safe, connected or valued.

You don’t actually have to say anything out loud or even be in the same city as the person, although a sincere “thank you for being in my life” is a beautiful thing.

All you have to do is hold the person in your mind and imagine a beautiful white light streaming out of your heart and into theirs. And remember to smile when you’re doing that.

The gift of Compassion is especially marvelous when it’s given to a person with whom you have the most difficulty offering it to. Can’t quite get to compassion with him/her? Then aim for neutral.

Take a deep breath and release the negative, victim-based snarky thoughts. Imagine hosing down your heart, washing all of those thoughts away. Then smile and notice how much lighter you feel.

Compassion is the real gift that keeps on giving. So wrap it up, and start handing it out!

I had the pleasure of spending this weekend in visiting my daughter, Amie. She’s a senior (when did THAT happen??) at Westminster College, a small college of about 2800 students nestled in the beautiful Sugar House neighborhood in southwest Salt Lake City, Utah.

She’s a soprano in the Westminster Chamber Singers, and I flew out to attend both the Friday and Saturday evening performances of their holiday concert. The concerts were wonderful, the weather was really fabulous for this time of year, and it’s always great to get away.

The best part of it, though, was the time I spent one-on-one with Amie. At 21 years old, the time I actually have with her keeps dwindling as she continues to carve out her own life. Heck, the time we spend in the same zip code is already pretty scarce.

Out of the whole weekend, we had about four hours together, just she and I. Saturday morning we spent two hours talking about school, life, and (of course!) boys at a Starbuck’s, and we hung out for another couple of hours Saturday afternoon at another coffee house, where we both worked on our laptops and didn’t talk.

The rest of the time I was with her, I was glad to step back and share her with her roommates and friends, her dad and stepmom, who also flew out from Denver for the weekend, and the other hundred or so people who attended the concerts each night.

Even when I was on my own in my hotel room or taking a walk, I found comfort in knowing that we were at least in the same city and state – not only just a phone call away (Thank God for Verizon family share plan!), but also just a four minute drive from the hotel to campus.

Somewhere along the way, it’s happened. I’ve turned into “Desperate Mom” – I’ll take whatever connection I can find!

And to me, this is Choosing Love Today. I can miss her. I can be happy for the life she’s creating for herself as an adult. I can be grateful for the time we have together. I can step back and observe her in her life. I can focus on my own life quite well when we don’t talk for a while. I can feel selfish sometimes and want more time with her. I can honor the path she’s chosen in her life.

And I can experience all of these feelings concurrently. They can gracefully co-exist, swirling and intermingling all together, all at once.

As I wrote in the acknowledgments in my book:

Of all the job titles and descriptions I’ve had throughout this lifetime, my favorite one always has been and always will be “Amie’s Mom.”

Am I a “Desperate Mom?” You bet!

And I can live with that.